WOW, REALLY?

It has really just been way to long since my last entry.  I need to get back into the swing of it because my kids are hilarious!  I swear the older they get the funnier they get.  I will just share one short story for now and then I will post some more later.....

Little Payton is 4 and has decided to stop doing ballet and join a soccer team.  So we have put her into a local soccer club that is all volunteer.  Long story short I am her coach.  Let me tell you how frustrating that is.  I know she is only 4, but I am extremely competitive and for my daughter to be "the worst" player on the team, IT IS KILLING ME!!

Let me back track, she isn't "the worst" player on the team.  She could just care less about the sport.  She runs looking at her new shiny silver cleats (shoes).  She runs looking at the butterflies in front of her.  Worst of all.....

now picture this

She is running, see's her sister (Madi) with the camera, 

actually stops, 

smiles, and

poses for the picture 

and then continues running to catch up with her team.

Are you kidding me?  I don't know if I can handle this for another season  

Momma Told You So!

I might sound like a bad Mom at the end of this little story but do know that I love my children and I do love on them and care for their wounds.  Well anyway you will see what I am talking about.  

So everyday parents tell there kids don't do this don't do that.  They think we are telling them just for the fun of it but in all reality we are telling them for their safety.  

RIGHT?

Well today my children were in the bathroom brushing their teeth getting ready for bed.  I was in the living room, reading.

All of a sudden I hear a huge thud and immediately crying afterward.  Madi comes running and screaming for Me to go help Payton.  

I am already up and running, trying to figure out what is going on.  Apparently she was standing on the edge of the tub and slipped and fell backwards, hitting her head on the edge of the tub.  

I scooped her up and loved on her, checked her out and got her some ice for the huge bump on the back of her head.  

After we calmed her down and took care of her, made sure there wasn't a concussion, we snuggled on the couch.

(This is where I might not be "a good mom")

In my head I'm thinking.  I told you over and over again don't stand on the tub.  They are so slippery.  Why won't you listen to me.  I don't feel bad for you when you get hurt because you didn't heed my warnings.  Maybe now you will listen to what I say.  Mom told you so.

I never said any of it out loud.  Just thought it.  I continued to snuggle on her and love on her and made sure that she is OK!

Does anyone else think, "Momma told you so?"

What kids will say when parents are AWAY!!

My husband and I went to my High School reunion on Friday night, leaving the girls with my brother and sister-n-law, Jason and Jill.

They took the girls to eat dinner with my father and mother-n-law.  On the way there, little Payton, of course, let go of some gas.  And oh boy was it really bad!  Jason and Jill said it was by far the stinkiest of any man's they have ever smelled. 

Jill asked Payton, "How are you so stinky?"

Payton replied in her quietest, sweetest little voice, "Because my Heavenly Father made me that way!"

Oh sweet Payton, Heavenlly Father didn't make you eat whatever is rotting inside your cute little body!

And then....

While they were in the restaurant eating, Rae was apparently all finished and decided to get up and walk around.  Jill asked her to go sit down, she didn't need to be running around.  

Reagan looked at Jill, tilted her head, batted her eyes and said in her sweetest little voice,

" I was just coming to give you a KISS!"

Jill said that it was a complete lie. Reagan was totally walking the other direction away from Jill.

But it was so adorable, Jill gave her a kiss and then made her sit down.  

That little girl knows how to manipulate and get anything she wants.  She is so stinkin' smart.

I just Love her MOM!!

Payton and Reagan were eating dinner next to each other. I mean like right next to each other, practically on each other's chairs.  Anyway we are all eating and I hear Reagan scream as if she is being hurt.  

Of course I look up and see that she isn't hurt and nothing is going on.  I give her the mom look for "What are you doing stop screaming for no reason"

 And I continue to eat. 

She screams again.  So again I look up and say, "What in the world are you screaming about?"

She says, "Payton is touching me"

I look over at Payton and ask her why in the world she is touching her sister and making her scream like that...

Payton simply replies, "I want to touch her"  Plain and simple, no laugh, nothing.

I ask her to stop and leave her sister alone and to just eat her dinner.

Low and behold a few minutes later the exact same scream comes from Reagan's mouth.  

"Stop touching your sister,  Payton," 

I yell

"But Mom I love her so much that I just want to touch her," Payton calmly explains as she goes to give her sister a big hug.  

Super sweet and nice but sometimes people just don't want to be touched.  Even if you want to touch them and love on them.  I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but sometimes you think somethings (like babies) are so stinkin' cute that you just want to squeeze them until their eyes pop.  I think Payton was just wanting her sisters attention so bad that she would do anything to get her to pay attention to her. 

Quote of the Week....

"Mom do your boobs still have milk in them?"  -Payton

POO SHMEAR!

I can't take credit  for this one.  I have stories like this one but mine are not near as good as the one I'm about to tell.  I hope you enjoy!

My friend, who will remain nameless, was outside with her son in their little toddler swimming pool.  You know the inflatable pools where you fill it up just a enough to get their ankles wet practically.  Anyway so she was out watching her little guy in the pool.  I'm not exactly sure how she cut herself, but she was doing something and ended up cutting her hand.  So she went inside to clean up the blood and bandage it up.  As she is at the kitchen sink she could see through the window to her son in the pool.  Which was great of course.  So she is cleaning up and she see's little dark things in the pool.  Her son starts picking one up and throwing it outside of the pool onto their deck.  Within a few seconds of seeing them she realized it was poop.

She then starts hollering at her son to stop touching them.  He either one, can't hear her, or two could care less cause he didn't want the poo in his pool.  Either way he continued to scoop it out and throw it on the deck.  

My friend is frantically trying to finish cleaning up her wound to get out there.  She then notices the dog is out there picking up the poop after it is being thrown out of the pool and taking it to another location on their deck and dropping it off.  Then not only is the dog stepping on it and smearing it all over the deck, her son gets out of the pool and starts stepping on it and smearing it all over the deck.  

All the while she moving as fast as she can to clean up her wound and bandage it so she doesn't get blood all over.  She was in the kitchen for literally 3 minutes, and for two of them yelling at her son and the dog, to stop touching the poop, leave it alone.  And them obviously not listening.

By the time 3 minutes had passed and she walked out to the deck, her son and dog where covered in poop and the was poop shmear all over the deck.

I died laughing.  I've only had poop in the tub and it ended with me scooping it out, no big deal.  

This one was HILARIOUS!  

Magic!!?

We were coming out of Dion's, which is a pizza place, after eating dinner at about 8pm.  I know bad parenting, blah blah blah.....

Anyway

I was walking up to my brother-n-law Jason who was waiting outside with 2 of my girls just hanging out.  He comes up to me and tells me this story......

I (Jason)was standing out here and little Payton walks out and stares at this small (kind of at her eye level) light pole.  She starts squinting and frowning and really concentrating on this light.  She starts clenching her fists and shaking a little, as she is still intently staring at the light.  (As Jason is telling me this he is making the actions himself).  So I (Jason) ask her what she is doing.  

She responds.....

"I am trying to turn it off"

What a silly little girl.  It would be super creepy if it just randomly turned off while she was doing that.  Hahahahahaha, she cracks me up.

CRINGE!

We are probably all moms or at least women that read this.  

I am wondering if I am the only one out there that enjoys cleaning the toilet.  I clean my toilet once a week and it really doesn't get to bad.  Granted I have 3 girls and no boys, besides the hubs and I have to say he has a pretty good aim.  Anyway I like cleaning the toilet.  I like the smell of the bathroom after it has been cleaned thoroughly.  I am very pleased with myself!

What gets me though is the first person to go #2 in it after I have cleaned it.  Can't we hold it for 24 hours just so my toilet bowl can stay nice and pretty.  Just so it can stay white and shinny and smelling good.  I don't mind the pee, but don't go poo.  

The worst part is when it is me that needs to go.  I seriously clench my bum for a minute contemplating whether to do it or not.  HOW STUPID!!  

Why am I like this?  It's a toilet for crying out loud!

I just had to laugh at myself this morning during my contemplation period.  

Get over it and stop cringing over it and just enjoy the clean toilet while it's clean.

SMIRK!!

Little Payton was being naughty at explora, a childrens museum, the other day.  I was explaining to my husband what she had done to be so naughty.  He then turned to get after her, as he was being stern with her she started to smile. " He said this is not funny!  You need to wipe that smirk off your face!" 

Almost as soon after he said that, Little Payton took her hand and wiped it from one side of her cheek across her mouth to the other cheek, thus 

WIPING THE SMIRK OFF HER FACE!!

Brave Swimmer!

I took the girls swimming today.  We have been trying to teach Payton how to swim without her floaties for a little bit now.  Today she made real progress.  She can swim short lengths, she just struggles when her head goes under.  

As I was laying out, tanning, Payton came over and squeezed a wet ball over my back getting me wet.  

Little stink!

I told her, jokingly, that if she did it again I would throw her into the pool, without her floaties.

She thought she was so cool and brave, she did it again.  So I got my big butt up and chased after her.  You are not supposed to run around the pool so we didn't go far and I gave up.  As she attempted to get me wet again, for the 3rd time, I grabbed her by the arm, carried her over to the 3ft. end and gently tossed her.  Of course keeping close by incase she needed help.  

She did fabulously!!  She came right up and swam over to the stairs.  

I thought this would be the end but she attempted again.  What a dummy!!  This time I grabbed the ball and threw it into the pool.  Not caring where it went cause she didn't have her floaties and she wasn't going to be able to go after it.  As soon as I threw it I turned around laughing to myself.  

HAHAHAHA!

Next thing I knew I heard a splash!  She had jumped in, she jumped right in to go get the ball.  I turned around prepared to jump in and then not believing what I was seeing.  

That little stink got the ball and swam back up to the side of the pool!

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!  WOW!  I AM SO PROUD OF HER!!  

STAGES?

My kids are driving me crazy!!  I don't know if they are all going through the same stage at the same time or what.  Maybe they feel the stress I am feeling and are acting out.  No matter what it is I am so sick and tired of the way they are acting.

So I tell them to do something.  Lets take for instance I say bed time.  They respond with,

"Mom, but can we stay up 5 more minutes?"

I say lets go get into the car.  They respond with,

"But mom can we stay and play for 5 more minutes?"

I say lets stay for 5 more minutes and then head home.  They respond with,

"But mom can we stay for 10 more minutes?"

You get the picture?

This probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal.  It really is though.  They respond with this......"But Mom can we......."  Every single time I ask them to do something.  

I went off on them the other night.  They did the same routine, I ask them to clean up, get jammies on, brush their teeth and climb into bed.  After every one of the request they came back with a "but mom" response.  So when it came down to the bed and climbing in it, you can imagine that I had enough.  

At the top of my mean mom lungs, and with my mean mom, "I mean business" look,  I yelled,

"I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOU GUYS SAYING BUT MOM AND PROLONGING WHAT I AM ASKING YOU TO DO.  WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO SOMETHING SAY YES MA'AM AND THEN JUST DO IT, RIGHT THEN.  I AM NOT TUCKING ANYONE IN AND I AM NOT GIVING ANYONE GOODNIGHT KISSES"

I shut the light off, and slammed the door.

As soon as I walked out all you could hear was crying.  It sounded like there were at least 10 girls in their crying.  

"I want kisses", "Mom come tuck us in", "No mom come back", "MOOOMMMMM"

I didn't go back in for the rest of the night.  I hate nights like this!  I hope this stage ends soon, like tomorrow morning!

Nothing better!

Sure my kids drive me crazy, and they can be out of hand most of the time. 

But there is nothing sweeter than walking into a room and seeing two of them snuggled up together asleep.  

Even though one of them has their mouth wide open, sleeping like an old man, and the other had their eyes somewhat open, very creepy looking, as if they are secretly watching you.  All the while you know they are sound asleep.

I just love it!  They really are so precious and sweet and loving.  And for some reason they just smell sooo good.  (I hope I'm not the only parent that smells their children while they are asleep)

This small and awesome moment makes me just want to have a billion of them.  

I end up staring at them for a while, just taking it in.  I seriously have a hard time walking away.  

Sometimes I will make it to the door, walk out and then peak back in, just to get one more glimpse.

Then other times like today I end up snuggling in next to them, smelling them again and laying my head down next to them, just to fall asleep.  

I love moments like this!

Makes all the bad, rotten, smelly days so worth it!

Are you KIdding me?

Just the other morning I was taking a shower, in my own bathroom, and Madison walks in.  I asked her what she was doing and she said, "going to the bathroom".  Fine, ok, she is allowed to go to the bathroom.  She didn't just pee though.  

So I asked her, "you couldn't wait 10 more minutes to take care of that business or at least gone into the other bathroom?"

She answered No, of course.

Then child number 2, Payton came into the bathroom. Madison is also still in there, doing her business.  Then Reagan came in.  All of a sudden as I am trying to wash up they all start trying to talk to me at once.

"Mom can I do this?"

"Mom Rae did that"

"Mom, Mom,MOMMMM!!!"

I tried to ignore them as long as I could, but they knew I was in there.  It's like they sniff me out.  I repeated, I don't know how many times that I couldn't hear them.  Finally I had to YELL,

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU"

And so they did.  At that point I said I can't understand when you all talk at once, just go one at a time.  I don't think they understood what that meant so they all started yelling at once.  

I then yelled,

"All of you get out, just get out, I am in the shower and I want you to GET OUT!!!  

Go ask your father."

Can't I have an privacy?  No, the answer to that is no.  There is no privacy in my bedroom or the bathroom or even the shower.  Sorry Moms you get no privacy anywhere.

When I was done showering, I wrapped the towel around me and walked into my bedroom, where my husband was sitting on the bed reading something.  

I asked him how long he had been sitting there?  He said the whole time that I was in the shower.

"Are you kidding me?  

While the girls are in the bathroom yelling and all trying to talk to me at the same time, and all the while I'm yelling back that I can't hear them all and they needed to get out.  You were sitting here nice and quiet and didn't think to help me at all?  Are you kidding me?"

"I didn't hear anything" he says

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

QUESTION OF THE WEEK.....

"I wonder what it is like inside this soccer ball"  
                               -Payton


                                          I didn't have an answer for this one.  

Gum......

While I was visiting my mom in TX we went into Target.  I went right away to customer service and she went to take the younger two girls to the bathroom.  When she came out of the bathroom and met up with me she told me to talk to Payton, to ask her what she has to tell me.  My heart started racing and I started to think of all the things that she might need to say.  As I called for her she started to walk near me and immediately said,"I don't have anything to tell you."  I then started to tell her that Mima (my mom) said she did in fact have something to tell me, when I noticed a big wad of GUM stuck in her hair.  I asked her how in the world she got gum stuck in her hair, she then told me she was just playing with it.  Of course she was just playing with it, what else could it have been.  

I told her I would have to cut off all her hair because she decided to play with her gum in her hair.  

Instead when we got home I got the jar of peanut butter and started to slowly rub it over the gum and it loosened the gum right up.  Within 7 minutes the gum was all out and I stuck her in the bath. 

THANK YOU PEANUT BUTTER!!

What we teach is not always what they hear!!

So of course my husband and I are constantly teaching our children things everyday.  Whether it is about life, religion, manners, respect, money or anything else.  All parents do this.

The girls and I are visiting my parents for 2 weeks in Texas.  My dad and Reagan were coming down the stairs where there is a picture of Jesus Christ.  My dad asked Rae who that was in the picture.  She of course said Jesus and then followed with he died on the cross.  

He said, "Yeah that is right.  Do you know why he died?"

She then tilted her head to the side, stuck her tongue out (as if she was dead) and made the "ehhhh" sound, also as if she was dead!

Pretty sure my Dad said "Do you know why," not, "Do you know what he looked like or what sound he may have made when he died"

What A Silly Girl!

(This may have been funnier in person)

Nothing is Private

Every once in a while my girls will spend the night at my in-laws, Granny and Grandpa Sego.  This time they spent the night on a Saturday night and Grandpa brought them home early the next morning all bathed because we had church at 9am.  I was very appreciative of them being bathed already, it was very helpful!

Anyway David (Grandpa) told us a little story about what storied were told during the sleepover.

Apparently one of them was Payton telling Granny and Grandpa where Mom shaved and didn't shave on her entire body.  Where mom had hair and didn't have hair.  I'm not going to go into detail on my blog.  Too much detail has already left the 4 walls of my home.  

Lets just say that my in-laws now know the ends and outs of  what my body looks like naked.  

Isn't that nice!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK?

"Mom, do ants have eyeballs?"  -Payton 4

NAPS AND BOOGERS

I take a nap every day with my youngest two daughters.  I don't care what you have to say about that cause I love them (the girls and the naps).  Anyway I usually fall asleep before they do and wake up about 1 hour before they do.  

So today my nap was very short because we went down late and I needed to get up and pick Madi up from school. As I was falling in and out of sleep, you know how that happens when you are stressed or you just have a lot on your mind, I noticed Payton picking her nose.  I vaguely remember her saying I need a tissue and getting up to get one.

When I woke up I had 10 minutes until Madi needed to be picked up from school.  So I grabbed my shoes and rushed out the door.  I arrived a little early, our school is about 3 minutes away.  I was sitting in the car, listening to music with the windows down just enjoying the sun rays coming in the window.  As I glanced down at my arm I noticed a little green BOOGER.  GROSS!!  Why would a booger be on my arm?  Then I remembered Payton saying she needed a tissue, before I fell asleep. I figured that was what happened.  Maybe she just rubbed one off on my arm as she got off the bed, on accident.  As I flicked it off I noticed...... another one!  And another!

THERE WAS A TRAIL OF GROSS, DISGUSTING BOOGERS GOING UP MY ARM. 

Not all of them were flickable either I had to scrape some of them off because they were dry and crusty.

What a freak!  

Who makes a booger trail on their mom's arm while she is sleeping?  Ummmm MY KID DOES!  

Helpful Ointment

Being a mom with young children I have come across many bottoms with rashes on them.  Last night at about 10pm I had to deal with this situation.  

I was kind of stuck though.  I had let my friend borrow my antibiotic ointment called Butt Paste.  Which by the way is the best!  It gets rid of any irritation in the bottom area with in 48 hours. 

 I LOVE IT!  

As I said though I let my friend borrow it.  Then I remembered a sweet little nurse on the other end of the phone a few years ago giving me instructions for a homemade ointment that I remembered working GREAT!!

Here is the recipe in case you ever need it...

Proportions are all equal, I did a Teaspoon of each

 Neosporin

Baking Powder

Desitin!!

p.s.  It wasn't a little bottom...shhh